Real stories
Amy’s story: Processing grief after loss
Mental health impacts of early pregnancy loss
No matter the length of pregnancy or the reason for the loss, each person processes early pregnancy loss in their own way.
The emotional effects of a miscarriage differ from person to person. For some, the grief after pregnancy loss is immediate, and they may feel a deep sadness. For others, there may be feelings of acceptance or even relief.
“No matter how far along someone was in pregnancy, their loss may feel profound and life-altering. For me, I had imagined exactly what my life would be like as a Mum the minute that I saw the second line on the pregnancy test, so for that to come crashing down in an instant was absolutely devastating.”
As a healthcare provider, you play a crucial role in creating a safe space where people can share their feelings. Validating the unique experience of each person after their loss is an important part of care.
Early pregnancy loss can affect mental health in profound ways. When a person's emotional, psychological and support needs go unmet, their mental health can suffer.
Some of these impacts after early pregnancy loss include:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Post-traumatic stress disorder
- Panic attacks
- Suicidal thoughts
- Feelings of isolation
- Feelings of dread.
Anxiety is one of the most common impacts of early pregnancy loss or miscarriage. Nearly one-third of respondents in a recent PANDA survey reported that anxiety symptoms persisted into future pregnancies. Many described being unable to enjoy their next pregnancy because of the constant fear of another loss.
“Don’t assume that because it was a first trimester loss it doesn’t matter or doesn’t hurt the person. Always offer mental health resources and guidance following a loss, regardless of gestation.”
Relationships
Impact on relationships
Supporting families after early pregnancy loss means recognising how grief can shape both individual experiences and the way partners connect with each other.
Loss can affect relationships, intimacy, and a person’s sense of identity. For some, it may feel like the future they imagined has been shattered. Others may withdraw from social situations or struggle to share their feelings.
It’s important to remember that non-birthing parents may also struggle deeply. Grief after pregnancy loss can place strain on partners, who may feel excluded or unsure how to express their grief. One participant from a recent PANDA survey shared:
“I definitely pushed my partner away because I felt like I couldn’t hold on to his grief as well as my own.”
Acknowledging the emotional effects of a miscarriage on partners helps make sure support is offered to everyone, not just the birthing parent. Offering support and involving partners in conversations helps normalise that they too can struggle. Recognising both parents as grieving individuals allows you to better meet the needs of the whole family.
Providing support
Practical ways healthcare providers can provide support
Healthcare providers play a critical role in supporting people through this vulnerable time. The quality of care someone receives after early pregnancy loss can ease distress and help prevent long-term mental health impacts.
Focus on the persons individual experience
While miscarriage statistics show that pregnancy loss is common, discussing prevalence rates with someone who’s experiencing loss can feel invalidating, minimising and even isolating.
Instead of focusing on miscarriage statistics, shift the conversation to the individual’s experience. This allows the person to feel seen rather than compared.
You can do this by asking open-ended questions about their emotional wellbeing. This approach acknowledges their personal journey and gives them the space to share what they’re comfortable with.
For example:
"I’m sad to hear of your loss. How have you been feeling through all of this?”
“Who do you talk to when you’re having hard days/moments?"
"How have you been coping day to day?"
“Even though it is so common, pregnancy loss often comes with a lot of other baggage (e.g. an extended journey to conceive) and you have no idea the emotional impact of this loss for the person in front of you.”
The “12-week rule” can also contribute to feelings of isolation after loss. Many people wait until after 12 weeks to share their pregnancy news, which can leave them feeling alone in their grief when a loss occurs earlier. It’s important to create an environment where people feel supported to share the news with their support network earlier if they choose.
Support resources and referrals
You don’t have to be an expert in bereavement care to provide compassionate support. Be led by the parents in your care. What feels helpful for one person may not be for another. Listening, validating, and offering resources can make a meaningful difference.
Specialised organisations can also provide additional support. It can help to provide physical and/or written information on support options for people to refer back to in their own time.
PANDA – runs a free helpline where parents can talk to trained counselling and peer support practitioners. PANDA offers a free, nationwide secondary consultation service. This means Healthcare Providers like GPs, midwives, and psychologists can contact PANDA for expert advice on how to support their clients’ mental health during the perinatal period.
Pink Elephants – The Pink Elephants Pregnancy Loss Helpline delivered by PANDA provides free, targeted mental health counselling and support for families experiencing early pregnancy loss.
Short course for healthcare providers
Supporting Parents After Pregnancy Loss
For those wanting to deepen their understanding, the Pink Elephants Early Pregnancy Loss Course available on the PANDA learning hub, offers training to help healthcare providers deliver compassionate, evidence-based care.
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