I’m a mother to two beautiful children - my 13-year-old daughter and 9-year-old son, a wife, and a proud fur-mum to Sadie, our mini foxie. We live in Brisbane and lead busy lives filled with work, sports training, and the many appointments and activities that come with raising a family. I work part-time as an occupational therapist while also being the primary caregiver and household manager. When I can, I enjoy going to the gym, reading, and catching up with friends - when my social battery allows it!
As a healthcare provider, I’ve always prided myself on being prepared. I approached pregnancy with that same mindset: I attended all the antenatal sessions, read every book I could find, and set up the nursery with care. I expected a smooth transition into motherhood. I had no history of mental illness, and no warning signs so I never imagined that depression or anxiety could be part of my journey.
My husband and I were thrilled to become parents. We thought we could handle the sleepless nights and the challenges of a newborn. But we were completely unprepared for the reality: breastfeeding difficulties, settling issues, and the emotional toll that followed.
Experiencing Postnatal Anxiety and Depression
From the moment my daughter was born, I felt an overwhelming sense of responsibility and anxiety. I told myself it was just the baby blues…that the tears, sleeplessness, and loss of appetite would pass. I was so exhausted yet ‘wired’ that I began slurring my words and crying constantly.
My husband, deeply concerned, gently encouraged me to see a GP. I’ll always be grateful for his persistence. The first GP dismissed my symptoms, saying all new parents struggle. But my husband urged me to get a second opinion. That second GP recognised the signs of postnatal depression and anxiety and referred me to the Brisbane Centre for Postnatal Disorders at Belmont Private Hospital. I was admitted to the Mother-Baby Unit when my daughter was just three weeks old.
Despite seeing lactation consultants and child health nurses, no one had picked up on my deteriorating mental health. I was so focused on fixing the breastfeeding issues that I never mentioned how I was coping. And no one asked, “How are you really going?”
If it weren’t for my husband’s insistence, I don’t know if I’d be here to share this story.
The Impact of Mental Health Challenges
I’ve never felt more ashamed, guilty, or afraid. I withdrew from my friends and family, even my parents and sibling because I feared judgment. Depression and anxiety distorted my thoughts. I felt like a failure, convinced my husband and daughter would be better off without me.
Our relationship was pushed to the brink. I believed I wasn’t enough, that they deserved someone stronger, someone stable. My parents were worried, but I avoided them, blaming myself for the strain on everyone around me.
The Recovery Journey
Recovery was long and difficult. I wasn’t the easiest patient - I disliked medication and was sceptical of therapy. But I was determined to get better. I tried everything: multiple inpatient admissions, medication trials, and even electroconvulsive therapy (ECT).
Eventually, the fog began to lift. The weight I’d been carrying started to shift. I wasn’t drowning anymore. I could finally keep my head above water. Slowly, I began to feel joy again. I reconnected with my husband and daughter. I started exercising, eating better, and regaining energy. Progress was slow, but it was real.
My relationships healed. I bonded with my daughter in a way I had longed for. Seeking help and engaging in treatment saved my life…and my family.
Looking After Myself Now
Today, I’m very mindful of my mental health. I understand how hormonal changes affect my brain. Recently, as I entered perimenopause, I noticed my mood dipping again. I proactively sought advice from my gynaecologist and started HRT, which has helped immensely.
“Being aware of my normal and taking early steps to seek support has been so important. I never want to sink into that dark place again.”
I exercise regularly, eat well, and limit alcohol. While I enjoy a glass of wine, I know it can trigger anxiety, so I make conscious choices. I have a close group of friends- we support each other, vent, and laugh together. It’s amazing therapy to talk to like-minded women.
I’ve also adjusted my expectations. I no longer strive for perfection. I hire a cleaner when I can, work fewer hours, and check in with myself regularly. I prioritise sleep, nutrition, and movement—whether it’s a gym session or a walk with Sadie.
Most importantly, I’ve learned to say no. I don’t need to people-please or overextend myself. If I need time alone, I take it - usually with a good book in my room.
“Seek help. The earlier the better – there is no use in 'hoping' that things will improve. While they might, you’ll feel far more supported and nurtured with the right healthcare providers and support systems in place. Be kind to yourself and prioritise your health, it saved my life, and I will forever encourage others to reach out.”
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