Kayla’s story: A journey of motherhood with twins, mental health, and starting again
"Strength isn’t about doing everything alone. It’s about knowing when to lean in, when to accept support, and when to let yourself be held."
My name is Kayla. I’m 32 years old and a mum to six-year-old twins, a boy and a girl, who are the centre of my world.
I knew motherhood would be hard. I remember the fear I felt when I found out I was pregnant. I was 26, none of my friends were even talking about starting a family yet. It felt like our world was about to change in ways I couldn’t fully comprehend.
But what I didn’t know then was that this was only the beginning. What lay ahead would challenge me far beyond anything I had imagined and ultimately shape the woman and mother I would become today.
Finding out we were having twins
When we found out that we were having twins, I was filled with an overwhelming mix of apprehension and bliss.
“The thought of raising two children simultaneously felt remarkable and yet given the state of the world, also incredibly frightening, both economically and emotionally.”
I think we were mentally prepared for one, but not two. Nevertheless, there was this profound sense of gratitude.
Being relatively young parents to be, we were at that untouchable age where you think you know everything, while having absolutely no idea.
A challenging birth and health complications
When I gave birth, it’s safe to say my birthing “plan” did not so much bend, as completely disintegrate. On brand to their personalities the twins decided how they would “make their grand entrance” …early… well before the scheduled C-section, turning the whole thing into an unscheduled event. Much like the surprised expression on my Uber driver’s face, he dropped me at the hospital at 12pm, and by 4pm I was holding two tiny humans. It still feels wild when I think about it.
During that four-hour period, it felt like time flew. It was a race against the clock for their dad to make it in time, while I dealt with contractions that redefined my understanding of pain. Fortunately, the twins were absolutely fine, but my body had other ideas. I was diagnosed with preeclampsia a few days prior. My blood sugar dropped to a dangerously low level. I lost a lot of blood and went into shock – all while the twins and their dad were in recovery, nowhere to be seen. My adrenaline was in overdrive and yet it was the most isolating feeling in the world.
Caring for newborn twins and the impact on my mental health
By the time we left the hospital, everything felt like a blur. Feeding them was hard, repetitive, and relentless. I remember drifting in and out of consciousness while a nurse pumped colostrum from me. Even though I wasn’t okay, I had two tiny humans upstairs depending on me to survive. When we finally came home, the reality hit: we were suddenly responsible parents despite having received no formal training beyond “here you go, good luck.” Safe to say my mental health was in a bit of a state.
“A few weeks after that, once the adrenaline wore off and the reality and sleep deprivation became very real, it was clear to me that I wasn't doing well. ”
Mentally it was a lot, and physically I was very tired.
It was just as COVID begun and I felt extremely detached in those first few years.
Finding support for my mental health
I didn't want anything to happen to my twins if I wasn't able to get better, so I found help. The journey included therapy, reconnecting and rebuilding my network with my family and friends again while COVID lockdowns were slowly decreasing. I spoke to my partner about it, and we supported each other through what felt like a rough few years.
I relied on several supports, mostly following hospital recommendations in those first weeks. I also joined some playgroups with other multiples parents I’d met in my birthing class. My village started to re-form.
“There’s something different about connecting with parents of multiples. The challenges and experiences can be quite different from those of parents with singletons during those early stages.”
After finding help, things improved but still something didn’t feel right, this time with my relationship.
When the twins were four, I became a single mother and my life shifted overnight. The separation was painful at the time, but in the long run it was the right decision for us.
“I was no longer just raising children; I was learning how to hold everything together while sharing custody with their dad and finding my footing in a life I hadn’t planned.”
Rebuilding my life
Through these challenges I was stripped of whatever confidence I had been working on and almost rebirthed and thrust into a new version of myself. It was the most frightening and yet enlightening experience of my life. I was terrified but also felt an overwhelming sense of freedom as I entered this new phase of my life. Yes, there were times were my mum and dad peeled me off the ground as I wept and my heart felt shattered.
“But what I realised is that I was growing in new ways, and the fear was only the unknown. I had to harness that energy and grow with these challenges.”
I have been able to rebuild my life with my twins in ways I never imagined. At the time, I was working in architecture and building design. On paper, it was a career I had worked hard for. But it didn’t allow me the one thing I needed most, time and presence with my children. So, I made a brave decision to step away and retrain in social work. Not because it was easy, but because it aligned with the life and values I wanted to model for my kids.
I think my family saw a new side of me throughout that period and we became very close again.
It’s been a very difficult journey to get here, but along the way I’ve learned what I need to support a healthy mindset - exercise, connection with friends and family, and taking a more holistic approach to life. I’ve grown to really value looking after my health and wellbeing. I love dancing, listening to music, going camping, bushwalking and hiking. I also dog walk and pet sit as a side job, which keeps me active and connected to animals. I love coffee, so naturally I volunteer for a coffee van run by a fellow single mum who is a total boss babe.
Leaning on your community
For a long time, I believed I had to do everything on my own. I wore independence like a badge of honour, convinced that asking for help meant failing. Eventually, the weight of that belief caught up with me.
Stress took its toll and at the end of last year, my life came to a sudden stop when I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer.
What followed was surgery, post-operative therapy, and a recovery that tested me in ways I never imagined. But it also revealed something profound. I was carried through that season by an extraordinary village of doctors, surgeons, physiotherapists, family members and friends who showed up when I couldn’t do it all myself. Today, I am cancer-free, deeply grateful, and forever changed.
“That experience reinforced what I now know to be true: strength isn’t about doing everything alone. It’s about knowing when to lean in, when to accept support, and when to let yourself be held.”
Now, my purpose is clear. I want to empower other mothers and families navigating perinatal anxiety and depression to know they are not alone. That there is help. That there is hope. And that asking for support is not a weakness it’s an act of courage.
I hope to remind others that even in the hardest seasons, healing is possible, community matters, and no one is meant to carry it all on their own.
My message for other parents
No matter the feeling or issue, you are not powerless. Your mind and perspective are what you need to shift to regain that power back, and it is within you. You are stronger than you know.
Life isn’t a race; it’s a marathon (and sometimes it feels like an uphill run, in the rain, with no clear finish line). Take your time. Make strong decisions grounded in good principles and look after the people around you. That doesn’t mean coasting through life or letting moments pass you by. It’s more about being present for them.
“Stay connected to your village, because you can’t (and shouldn’t) do everything alone.”
Never take things out on your partner. They’re your teammate, not the enemy, even when you’re tired, stressed, or convinced you’re right. And finally, find a routine that works for you, because a little structure can be the difference between feeling grounded and feeling completely undone.
Helpful Information
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