Georgia’s story: How ADHD impacted my birth and parenting experience
“Now that I can see my anxiety and insomnia in the context of ADHD and neurodiversity, I have a better understanding of it and how best to treat it that takes into account the way the way my brain works.”
When I think back on the births of my children, the moments that stand out most are not the ones you see in photos - there aren’t any. What I remember instead are the silences, the rushing of staff, and the feeling that everything I had carefully prepared for was suddenly slipping out of my hands. I had done all the reading, I had a flexible birth plan with a focus on nothing but keeping myself and my baby safe, and I thought I was ready for whatever came my way. But nothing could prepare me for how close we came to losing our first son, or for the impact that experience would continue to have on me in the years that followed.
A complicated delivery and traumatic birth experience
He was born two weeks overdue after a long and complicated labour. I had planned for a vaginal birth but had made it very clear that if things didn’t progress, I wanted a caesarean rather than a complicated forceps delivery. After 20 hours of labour, my son’s heart rate began to drop - but this wasn’t communicated to me or even to the obstetrician. When I reached 10cm and he still couldn’t descend, the obstetrician recommended the high forceps I had hoped to avoid. My husband was able to advocate for an emergency caesarean instead.
When our son was born, he wasn’t breathing. He was rushed to special care while I was sent to the ward. I couldn’t hold him until he was two days old. He stayed in special care for a week, and we were sent home with the instruction to “wait and watch” for developmental impacts.
“Instead of feeling joy at each milestone, I found the first few years of his life very anxiety-provoking, always worrying about what impact would show up next.”
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) following a second birth experience
By the time I fell pregnant again, I thought I had processed what happened. But when my daughter’s birth mirrored some of those same moments - the silence, the rush of staff, the words “she just needs a little help to breathe” as she was whisked away from me - something inside me shifted and resurfaced. And, unlike my son, it was only a little help that she needed! She was fine within an hour, back in my arms in recovery, but for my nervous system it was too late.
I had a panic attack in hospital which was treated as a purely physical phenomena, just a 'heart rate spike'. Six weeks postpartum, I stopped sleeping (at almost exactly the same time as she started to sleep through the night!). For two weeks, I didn’t sleep a wink.
Along with the insomnia came terrifying thoughts. I became obsessed with the idea that I was about to develop postpartum psychosis, and that I would lose touch with reality at any moment. I felt I had to stay constantly vigilant - both to protect my baby, but also to monitor my own mind.
I called PANDA and the helpline counsellors gently suggested that this was more than insomnia. They wondered if post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from my first traumatic birth had been re-triggered by the second.
I didn’t want to believe it. I told myself, I’m fine, I just need to sleep. But I wasn’t fine. Eventually, I saw a perinatal psychiatrist who diagnosed me with postnatal obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). I hadn’t even known that was a possibility.
“Once we found the right medication, I started sleeping again and was lucky to recover quite rapidly.”
How attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) impacted my experience
Recently, I was diagnosed with ADHD. Looking back, I can see how my undiagnosed ADHD played a part. I know now that neurodivergent individuals are more at risk of birth trauma and postnatal PTSD.
Perhaps if I’d been diagnosed earlier, I could have avoided some of my postnatal distress. My busy mind and obsessive thinking style certainly made it harder to switch off and rest, and my insomnia was brushed aside by many health professionals.
But if there is a silver-lining of ADHD, it also gave me the insight to recognise quickly that I needed help. My hyperfocus made me determined to seek support early. And I’m grateful for that, because although the experience was terrifying, I was able to get well quickly.
Life after getting the right support
Today, I no longer experience OCD symptoms, and my anxiety is much reduced. Insomnia still lingers, but I have a better relationship with sleep now, along with a clearer understanding of how to manage rest in the context of my ADHD. I now run a perinatal support group for people with experiences like ours.
My son continues to carry some impacts from his birth, and as a family we all hold the scars of those early experiences.
At the same time, I carry deep gratitude for the support I received - especially from PANDA, who recognised the trauma I was living through before I could see it myself, and gave me the confidence to advocate for my own recovery.
For self-care, I love surfing! The cure for anything is salt water.
For other parents I’d say seek help!
“Prioritise sleep as much as possible - it is such a basic building block for mental wellness. And advocate for yourself. You know yourself best - don't let people brush off your fears if something doesn't feel right.”
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