"When I gave birth to my son, I was engulfed in an explosion of absolute joy and love for my baby. I loved this new bubble. It was just me and him. No one else mattered.
I struggled sharing him. I didn’t want anyone holding him. I didn’t want my husband, my son’s father, to take him out for a walk without me. I didn’t want anyone else’s scent on him.
I had horrific images in my mind of what could happen if I took my son out for a walk, or if I held him, or carried him down the stairs, or didn’t check on him in the cot if he made a noise, or didn’t make a noise. I was active all the time, but only for the purposes of my son."