Risks to your loved one

Expecting and new parents experiencing perinatal anxiety or depression can be feeling a range of negative emotions, as well as physical effects of the illness.

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    As a partner or carer, it can be hard to know what to do. Try to keep an eye out for any warning signs that they are struggling. Many expecting and new mums and dads do seek treatment and are able to start feeling better. But for those who don’t understand what is happening to them, or whose partners and loved ones don’t know the signs and can’t help them seek treatment, the illness can get worse. Sometimes, things can enter truly dangerous territory. 

You will need to take action immediately if you hear or see any:

  • Suicidal thoughts, details or plans to take own life
  • Self-harming behaviour that puts them at risk physically (for example, cutting)
  • Excessive use of alcohol or drugs
  • Potential harm to baby – this might be due to neglect and difficulty caring for the baby, physical abuse as a result of their inability to cope, or emotional harm due to limited bonding and attachment.

Actions to take:

Family, friends and health professionals need to be able to approach these areas of potential risk by gently but firmly asking direct questions. Being able to avoid overreacting is important to encourage the person who is struggling to speak openly.

Some examples of questions include:

  • Do you ever have thoughts or feelings that scare you?
  • Do you ever have thoughts or feelings that make you worry about your or your baby's safety?
  • Do you have any thoughts of suicide or hurting yourself?
  • Do these thoughts ever become more detailed such as in a plan?
  • What stops you carrying out your thoughts or plan?
  • What would you do if you felt that you couldn't stop yourself from acting out your thoughts?

For many people who are experiencing difficulties, it can be a relief to be asked questions such as these and to be able to speak openly about their thoughts. Especially if their responses are received in an open and supportive way. If they have responded in a way that is concerning, the following interventions might be necessary:

  • Ensure that someone is with them and their baby until they receive treatment and support
  • Arrange for them to see their GP or a trusted health professional as soon as possible to be assessed and supported
  • If the risk is more immediate they might need to be admitted to hospital via ambulance and emergency department
  • Encourage them to continue to talk about how they have been feeling.

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