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Motivational Stories from the heart.
Creating Special Spaces by Sarah Foley, mother of 2
I love to be out in the garden with my children. To feel the warmth of the sunshine, whether I’m sitting, gardening, playing or working. I developed Post Natal Depression (PND) after the birth of my first child. I remember, after my daughter was born (in June 02), thinking the world seemed smaller in winter. The sky seemed not only lower, but the heavy, grey clouds I could see from the maternity-ward bed, seemed to compress to some extent my ability to recover after giving birth. So as you can imagine, this time of year seems to be a bit of a challenge for me, as traditionally I wouldn’t have gone outside as much during the winter time. But I have since discovered the beauty of being reguarly outside during the colder months. Exploring the garden shows the bulbs are already beginning to raise once again from their slumber. The vegies can still be grown and require much love and devotion to maintain. And the kids seem easier to look after in the garden – they love it too. Since being a regular member of a PND playgroup, my coping strategies have broadened. And I have learnt that many mothers make life work’. I’ve found some stategies that work for me, for coping during winter. They are:
- To acknowledge the positives in my life: I remind myself that I’m lucky to have a garden now. We used to live in a unit without a garden.
- To include physical exercise in my day – every day. I put a ‘storm-cover’ over the pram in cold weather and walk around 2 or 3 blocks with my kids. I prioritise my health and reguarly visit a naturopath.
- Not to put pressure on myself to meet high and unrealistic expectations – a home with a young family can’t be clean 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. And small steps rather than big tasks work best.- To keep in regular contact with supportive people; I regularly have a friend over with her kids for some soup or toasted sandwiches in winter. And going to the PND Playgroup* weekly, can really be a good way to have fun-time with my little one and get to catch up with the friends I have made.
Another thing that makes a big difference especially in winter is creating some ‘special spaces’ in my home. The dressing table in my room was my first ‘special space’. I placed my favourite photos and postcards around my mirror. Also some incense (a gift from a friend) and some special pieces of jewellery and ornaments sit on the table top. This amount of ‘space’ was manageable to begin with, I kept adding to it if I felt and sat at the dresser reguarly to enjoy the space.
My second ‘special space’ was created by deciding one day to repair an old, second-hand telephone table. I stained the raw wood and once dry placed the table next to a favourite, comfortable chair, near the telephone wall. Placing an old family mirror on the wall finished the space nicely. Although this task needed more work to begin with, I was so enthused to work on the table because it was for ‘my space’ that I was able to do it! The most special part of this space is that it represents to me a vital link between me and my social world. It is where I sit and talk on the phone to my friends and family (once the kids are sound asleep).
The trend has even found its way into my children’s realm, as I encouraged them to stick their favourite photos, pictures and cards onto their shared wardrobe. It’s a beautifully creative space, that continues to grow. Hopefully this technique will be continued by my children as they grow, so that their environment becomes an individual reflection of them. And, like mine, a visual reminder of the need to take care of themselves.
* The PND playgroup that Sarah refers to is still running; Ponder Playgroup meets every Wednesday in West Preston. Please contact Heather Gallagher, 0430781916 for more information.
